Going Back
by LittleMissGoldStar
Summary: Rachel moves back to Lima after graduating from NYADA, and begins working for a small bakery. What happens when she reconnects with her friends and loved ones? What will she learn from it? (Finchel)
1. Chapter 1

_**(a/n) Hi! This is my new story! Please review it! Thanks!**_

Rachel Berry always thought that she would make it big. Bigger than big. But when it came down to it, she just wasn't what the directors on Broadway wanted. They wanted thin girls with small noses and big voices. Sure, Rachel had a voice that could fill an entire city, but that just wasn't enough.

After she didn't get the part of Fanny Brice in her first Broadway audition, she didn't fret much.

_It's only my first audition, _she thought, _I'm lucky that I even got a callback!_

But after numerous auditions throughout Rachel's college years and getting callback after callback, never actually getting the role, Rachel decided to take a break on auditions.

When she graduated from NYADA, she made the decision to return to Lima for a year or so. This way she could take a break from Broadway, spend time with her dads, and get away from the loft. Kurt had become super busy and successful and it made Rachel feel so terrible about herself and she just needed time away.

She had kind of erased Finn from her life in the past few years. They had both taken separate paths in life and they just didn't have the communication like they used to. Of course they still felt that same feeling for each other. _Tethered_. That's how they would always feel about each other.

The moment that Rachel returned to Ohio, she started searching for jobs. She didn't want to be using her dad's money for everything. She wanted to be independent.

It didn't take her long to get a job. She ended up getting a job at the new bakery in town, called Tiny Cakes. They specialized in cupcakes and small pastries, hence the name. Rachel's job title was "packager and delivery girl" and she didn't mind it. She made good money for the most part and she didn't have to stay in the cake shop all day.

* * *

Rachel had to deliver an order one Saturday. It was summer and the shop was _freezing_ due to the fact that it had to stay cold because of the icing and stuff. If anything melted, they were doomed. So when Rachel was told to deliver a small order to someone's home for a "coming home" party or something, she gladly accepted to get away from the frigid bakery.

The tiny brunette hopped in her car with the order and put the address into the GPS. She felt like the address was familiar, but she wasn't sure how she knew the address, so she shrugged it off and went on her way.

Rachel turned on the radio as she drove to the location, singing along to the song that was playing. Although she sang in the shower sometimes, Rachel hadn't used her voice to sing like she used to. She could sing along to the radio and stuff, but she didn't want to sing anymore. It made her miss New York too much.

As she arrived to the house, it finally hit her as to where she was. It was the Hudson/Hummel house. The front still looked the same as it did over 5 years before, except there was a huge "Welcome Home" sign in the front, near the garage door. She wondered who was coming home as she sat there for a moment, trying to catch up on where she was. When she realized that she was taking too much time with the car off and sitting in the driveway, where she figured that people would want to park in soon, she got out of the car with the order, which was cake pops, and went to the front door. It seemed odd to her that she had been there many times before, but she felt like a stranger.

After hesitating for a moment, Rachel pressed the button to the doorbell, feeling anxious. It shouldn't have been such a big deal, but it was. She and Kurt hadn't had any communication in the past year or so because he had been really busy, she guessed. Rachel didn't even know what was going on in his life or if he was still living in New York.

Finn's mother, Carole, answered the door with a smile on her face. She didn't notice Rachel at first, until Rachel lifted her head to give her the cake pops and the receipt. "Oh, is that you, Rachel?" she asked, motioning for her to come inside.

"Oh, Mrs. Hummel, I can't come in. I need to get back to work." She explained softly. Carole smiled. "So you're working for the bakery now? Kurt told us that you moved back but I guess Lima has turned into a bigger town since we haven't seen you much. I mean we've been busy, Burt and I, between work and being at the hospital and such…" she rambled. Rachel gave Carole a confused look, wondering what she meant about the hospital.

Carole shrugged it off, continuing to talk about Lima and how much it had changed but Rachel wasn't paying much attention. She was still thinking about the hospital thing, but she didn't want to ask and be nosey. After a few minutes, Rachel noticed people pulling into the house so she decided that she should leave. "Well it was nice to see you, Mrs. Hummel but I should really get back to work." She stated, walking off of the porch slowly. Carole said goodbye and told her that she would come by the cake shop sometime to say hello.

Rachel made her way back to her car, her head wandering in a million places as she got in and drove away, back to the shop.

* * *

The rest of the summer was a drag. Every day, Rachel would go to work from 10 until 4, unless there was an order to be delivered before or after those hours. She had rented herself a small apartment in a building near her dad's house and she liked having her own space. Her neighbors weren't that pleasant, staying up all hours of the night partying and such but Rachel dealt with it as best she could.

The cake shop stayed busy; many people had pool parties and such that they wanted to take little treats to and whatnot. Rachel's boss, Victoria, had offered to let Rachel take time off since she had been working there for over a year, but Rachel didn't see any need to since she had nothing better to do.

In mid- July, she took up on Victoria's offer and took a week off, hoping to relax and enjoy her time off. Working was a good way to keep her mind off of her real dream of performing so she hoped that taking a short time off wouldn't make her feel depressed over not having what she wanted.

* * *

On the first day of her vacation time, Rachel decided to call Kurt. She hadn't talked to him in over a year and she missed him a lot. Before she left, they had some issues, both wanting spotlight as usual, but Kurt was still her best friend and she wanted to talk to him.

She texted him, asking if he was in Lima and if they could meet up. Kurt responded shortly after, saying that he was in town and he would love to meet at the Lima Bean if that was okay with her. She said that she would and they planned to meet at two in the afternoon.

As Rachel drove to the coffee shop that afternoon, she wondered if it would be awkward to talk to Kurt or not. She hoped that it wouldn't be, but since they hadn't spoken in such a long time it might be.

When she got to the Lima Bean, Kurt was already there, sitting at a table with two cups of coffee. Rachel sat down and smiled. "I hope you still drink the same thing." He stated, giving her a small smile.

"I do, thank you." Rachel replied. They sat awkwardly for a moment until Rachel finally broke the ice. "So how have you been, Kurt?" she asked sweetly, taking a sip of her coffee which, to her demise, was scalding.

Kurt replied after crossing his legs under the table, "I've been alright. Busy, but doing well." He sighed. "I heard that you've been working for Tiny Cakes." He said. Rachel figured that Carole had told him about Rachel working at the cake shop; she nodded. "Yep, over a year now."

Silence was creeping over the table as Kurt took a sip of his drink, what Rachel assumed to be hot tea; he always drank hot tea at the Lima Bean. "So are you back in Lima for the summer or…" Rachel questioned, feeling a little nosey but not minding much.

"I'm actually not really sure at this point." He said softly, looking at the table.

"Depending on what?" Rachel asked, giving Kurt a confused look. Kurt looked up at her with wider eyes than before. "Oh, y'know, Finn." He responded, looking down again and taking another drink of his tea.

"What do you mean?" she asked, sounding worried. She was worried. Was something wrong with him? Was he alright? Last she knew, he was helping Mr. Schuester with Glee club and working on getting his teaching degree. But that was 5 years ago. What had she missed in that length of time?

"You don't know, Rachel?" Kurt asked, moving closer to her. Rachel gave Kurt a frantic look. On the inside she was freaking out. This wasn't just Kurt's brother. This was _Finn. _The Finn that she had loved. The Finn that she was tethered to. The Finn that she had been engaged to. That Finn.

"What? Kurt, what's wrong?" she asked worriedly. At this point, Kurt had grabbed a hold of her hand. This worried her, making her feel like something was really really wrong.

"Finn has cancer, Rachel."


	2. Chapter 2

_**(a/n) Hey guys! Can you believe I got the second chapter up so fast?! Haha I really like where this is going so I decided to keep writing tonight! PLEASE REVIEW. I want to hear your input on this story!**_

_**-Lyndsay**_

Rachel's mind was in a billion directions as Kurt told her about Finn. It felt like she had been punched in the gut. Like her whole world was coming down on her. She brought her hand to her mouth. "Why hasn't anybody told me?" she finally managed to get out, stifling a sob.

Kurt moved closer to her, hugging her. "Shh…it's okay." He soothed. She had so many questions but she couldn't get anything out. After a few moments, Rachel pulled away from Kurt slowly, "I need to know everything, Kurt." She said, knowing that he would agree. Finn and Rachel had been engaged, after all.

"We've known for about 7 months." He stated, moving back to his original spot in his seat. "It started as him losing a lot of weight. And then he just looked _awful._ So he went to the doctor and they ran some tests and _bam._ They dropped the big C word." He sighed as Rachel watched him tear up a bit. "He's done _so_ well throughout all this. He was in the hospital for 6 months. He came home about a month ago, but we never know how long that will last. It was _really really_ bad Rachel. And we begged and begged to call you for him but he said that he didn't want you to see him like that. He finally said that he called you up and you said that you were busy." Kurt swallowed, "But I guess that was just a lie so that we would drop it."

Rachel had sat there during Kurt's explanation, speechless. She remembered about a month before when she had gone to the Hudson/Hummel house to deliver those cake pops. There was a welcome home party and Rachel had no idea who it was for. Now she knew. It was for Finn.

"He did chemo for a long time. They say he's in remission, but he still has to go to the doctor every 3 weeks to make sure everything is alright." Kurt went on. "Rachel, you have no idea how crazy it's been."

Rachel stayed silent for a moment before asking. "What kind of cancer is it, Kurt?"

Kurt shuffled in his seat, taking a small drink of his tea. "Lymphoblastic Leukemia. It's really scary. Very serious." He said. Rachel was about to crack again when she spoke up. "So is he doing alright now?" she asked curiously.

"Well that's kind of the thing…why I might not be able to go back to New York as soon as I thought." He said, in a sad tone. "Yesterday Finn had an appointment and they think the cancer is back." He said as Rachel felt her body go numb. "Are you serious?" she asked. Kurt nodded, sending a chill up her spine.

"Is he at home?" she asked, referring to Carole and Burt's house. Kurt nodded. "Yeah, he moved out of his apartment when he found out about the cancer. He was in the hospital so much that he didn't want to pay for a place that he never stayed at." Rachel nodded in agreement.

After battling with herself in her head as to whether or not she should ask, she did. "Do you think he'd want to see me?" She watched Kurt think about it for a second before nodding. "I think he would. He's been kind of spacey since yesterday."

Rachel nodded, pursing her lips. "Do you wanna get out of here?" she asked. She noticed that she sounded like she had been punched in the stomach again. It felt like she had been run over by a truck.

Kurt agreed, standing up and throwing away his cup, Rachel right behind him. They went outside to their own separate cars. "So you're coming over?" Kurt asked. Rachel smiled softly and said yes as they both got into their cars. Kurt immediately pulled out of the parking lot while Rachel sat in the driver's seat, frozen. All at once, tears poured out of her eyes. She felt like she was swimming in tears. Her one and only love had _cancer_. And not just any cancer, it was really bad.

She decided then and there that she was going to do anything and everything to make sure that she was strong for Finn. He was strong for her when he stuck her on that train and they were supposed to get _married_ for God's sake. She was going to be strong come hell or high water so that he could get through this. So that he could beat the cancer and she could make sure that they lived happily ever after.

Rachel sat in the parking lot for a few minutes, composing herself. She wasn't about to go see her ex-fiancé whom she hadn't spoken to in 5 years and now had life threatening cancer, and look like a train wreck. No matter where he was in life or how he was doing, Rachel still wanted to impress him.

She threw on some more mascara and pulled out of the lot, driving towards the Hudson/Hummel house which she knew how to get to like a pro.

* * *

When she arrived, she parked behind Kurt's vehicle and walked up to the door, pressing the doorbell slowly. She wondered who would answer it and was surprised when Burt, Kurt's dad, answered the door. "Hi, Mr. Hummel." She said sweetly. "Do you mind if I come in?" she asked.

Burt welcomed her into the house, apologizing for the mess to which Rachel said was no big deal; her apartment wasn't very clean either.

They talked for a few minutes before Burt finally said something about Finn. "Did Kurt tell you?" he said sorrowfully. Rachel nodded. "He did…" she answered. "Kurt already told him that he was pissed at him for not calling you." He said, joking slightly. Rachel smiled lightly. "You can go up there and talk to him. I think he'd like the company." Burt suggested, pointing to the stairs.

Rachel took a deep breath and nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Hummel."

* * *

Walking up the stairs, Rachel felt like a teenager again. She remembered the times that Burt and Carole would be out for the night and Kurt would be with Blaine so that Finn and Rachel had the house to themselves. Sometimes they would watch movies together, sometimes they would have sex. Sometimes they would just lay on Finn's tiny bed and talk. About life, about everything. Rachel treasured the memories shared with Finn at that house.

Nearing Finn's room, Rachel's heart fluttered in her chest. She hadn't seen Finn in such a long time and even though it wasn't the best of circumstances, she was really anxious to see the face that she hadn't seen in such a long time.

When she got to his room, the door was closed so she knocked with her signature knock, hoping he would recognize it. After a few moments, the door opened slowly, revealing a pale and sickly looking Finn. His hair was messy, Rachel guessed he had been sleeping. He was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. "Rachel?" he asked surprised.

Rachel smiled lightly. "Hi, Finn."

She watched his face brighten a bit, his smile still loose and weak. "Great timing, I know. I just wanted to come see you. I had coffee with Kurt today and uh-"she said, not going on.

Finn sighed. "So he told you about the Leukemia, didn't he?" he said, leaning against his door frame, his smile faded.

Rachel nodded, looking down. She moved her eyes back to his. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, trying not to break. She knew it was coming. The love of her life was fighting a life threatening illness. How could she not cry?

Finn sighed loudly, looking up, away from Rachel. "I tried a billion times, ya know? To call you." He swallowed. "But I kept picking up the phone and wondering where you were. I kept telling myself that you were happy and I wasn't going to ruin that." He looked back down at her. "And then I was tired of everyone nagging at me to call you. I mean of course I wanted to. God knows I would have done anything to hear your voice, but I couldn't ruin anything for you, y'know?"

Rachel felt tears brimming her eyes but she pushed them back. "You don't have an excuse to not call me anymore." She said sternly. She watched him give her a sympathetic look, a look that she didn't want. She wasn't the one who needed sympathy, he was.

"I just wanted to stop by to see how you were and all." She said awkwardly. She felt the tether in her heart but she didn't want to acknowledge it based on the fact that they hadn't spoken in five years. It was weird talking to him now but it was natural. It always would feel natural to talk to Finn.

Finn nodded. "Thanks, Rach. I appreciate it. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you sooner…" he stated. They stood in the hallway for a few moments before Carole came up the stairs. "Finn, get ready for your doctor's appointment. We have to leave in ten minutes!" she said, sliding past them. "Rachel!" she said, noticing that she was there. Carole seemed to be a trainwreck to Rachel. She seemed frazzled and stressed and Rachel couldn't blame her. Her son was sick, again.

"How are you, dear?" she asked sweetly. Rachel smiled. "I'm doing pretty well, thanks for asking Mrs. Hummel." She said, moving towards the stairs again. Carole smiled and walked down the hall.

"I'll let you get ready for your appointment…I hope all goes well." She said truthfully. She hoped that the doctors would say something like, _"Oh the cancer isn't really back, you just have the flu." _or something.

Rachel made her way down the first two steps before Finn called after her. "Hey, Rach," she turned around. "Promise me you'll come see me more often? Or at least call me or something?" he asked, seeming hopeful.

Rachel nodded. "Promise."


End file.
